Lessons from Hollywood

This is not an original post. It is a compilation of tweets from Twitter which I found rather interesting. Some of the tweets are mine though. I thought I would put it up for the benefit of my readers. Any Twitter users can read these under the topic #lessonsfromhollywood

Lessons from Hollywood :

The villain is the guy who has everything but can’t get the girl.

The hero is the guys every bullet misses.

Vampires are good-looking young men in search of love.

America wins every war. Even the ones it loses.

All Jews wear a skull cap and all Afro women have ample posteriors.

Every kid is a computer whiz and can easily crack into any computer network in this world.

There is a black cop always ready to give you a speeding ticket while you are out to save the world.

Ha! If a Hollywood actor does it, its action. If Rajnikanth does it, people start mocking him.

Aliens and Monsters of the Sea always attack New York City.

Chinese have nothing better to do than teach or practice Kung Fu.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

The taxi driver = Indian, the illegal immigrant = Mexican, the Hero = American.

If a guy survives a mishap with a girl, then he can kiss her though he may not know who she is.

Animated characters are always more emotional than real characters.

The less you comprehend a film, the more Oscars its nominated for.

Never pick up a doll that smiles to itself. It will stab you on a stormy night.

A person who has never held a gun can shoot the bad guy right in the middle of his forehead.

A black detective and a female Mexican/Latin officer is a must to form a team.

Cops don’t always come in the end.

Never say “What’s the worst that can happen?”. The worst happens exactly after that. 

Ghostbusting is a profession.

Smart dogs. Smart cars. Smart guns too. But never a smart blonde.

There is at least 1 hotdog stand on every road in America.

Never be the star policeman’s partner … you’ll be dead!!

The college heart throb is the captain of basketball team..And the most famous girl is the head cheerleader.

Cowboys are smoldering, hot, ‘ranchy’ dudes who never remove their hats.

Indians are portrayed as geeky software professionals or yoga teachers.

Scientists have electrified hair.

Don’t forget, even the most sophisticated bomb WILL have a big LED countdown.

Stay tuned for ‘Lessons from Bollywood’ in my next post. BTW, it is ‘inspired’ by ‘Lessons from Hollywood’ as are so many of our Bollywood movies…



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11 thoughts on “Lessons from Hollywood

  1. Your attack on the New York observation is bang on. Be it Osama or be it Alliens they always attack NY.
    Also, about stunt comment also i agree. When some stunt is shown in Hollywood movie, it is termed as tehnology n bla… bla… while same thing in Bollywood movie will be booed…

  2. Waggish post 🙂

    An action hero can usually do anything. From stitch wounds to fly planes and everything in between.

    In a horror movie there will be a jock, a couple in love, a nerd/geek, a bimbo, a clown besides the lead pair who will be friends initially but will fall in love as the evil spirit kills the others.

    The hero will learn an art/skill in a week, practice it for about a month and then beat the villain (who has been doing it for years and is a master) in a final showdown. The underdog always wins.

    In kid movies like Home Alone and Babies Day Out, a little kid can always beat the hell out of big baddies 10 times his size.

    There are so many cliches in both Hollywood and Bollywood and any other Wood movies that you hardly feel like watching 99% of them.

  3. heya, this is a really hilarious post! I completely agree with most of them mentioned especially the ones abt America wining all wars and Indians being taxi drivers and Mexicans illegal immigrants. That is sort of racist and one of the few things I don’t like about Hollywood!
    Nice post!

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