This post was selected for BlogAdda’s ‘Spicy Saturday Picks’.
Disclaimer: This post was typed in a bout of jealousy. An unreasonable but inevitable pang of jealousy.
Its Sunday afternoon. I am trying to feed my baby cereal. He is being fussy, his tiny hands flailing about. Which is nothing new for 7-month olds who have just discovered the magic of their newly attained motor skills. But it does make the task of maneuvering that spoon with the glob of cereal into his mouth difficult.
“Ma’am, he likes to hold his foot while he eats. Maybe, you should allow him to do that first. Then he will eat peacefully.”
The voice comes from her, my maid. There is a pause. A heavily pregnant pause. I stop what I am doing and look at her. She looks at me. We look at the baby together. He has his chubby fist circled around his foot now and he is trying to grab at the spoon in my hand with his free fist.
NOT fussy anymore. Just like SHE said.
‘A’ looks up at the three of us. He knows what is running through my mind. He weighs his options and decides looking back at his laptop screen would be the best option for him.
SHE knew how he likes to have his cereal. But there’s only one problem with that. I am the MOTHER. Then why don’t I know what my son wants?
Luckily ‘R’ saves the moment asserting in the form of squeals and mini-foot stomps that he wants that spoon of cereal in his mouth NOW. So the feeding is resumed by me. ‘R’ accepting spoon after spoon of cereal with foot firmly clutched. Me swallowing my dignity with every spoonful too. And the maid hovering about guiltily. And of course, ‘A’ desperately thinking of something soothing to tell me, once I start The Talk with him.
So this is what it feels to be a working mom, I think. You miss your child’s little developments. Little things that make up R’s R-ness’.
“Ma’am, after you left, he tried to balance himself on all fours for the first time”
“Ma’am just before you came, he was playing this little game of plopping back on the pillow and giggling.”
“Ma’am he sleeps 2 naps in the morning now. Not 3 naps anymore like last week.”
I don’t know that he prefers stewed apples over pears now. That thunder makes him scared and he wants to be held. Well at least I don’t know these things until the maid tells me.
True, there are weekday evenings and weekends. And there are loads of hugs and kisses and laughter.
But then there are moments like this when it is Mother versus Maid. And I feel I am reduced to a fleeting shadow. The 4 hourly caller of ‘How is he?’ updates. The weekend bath-er of baby. The nightly feeder. The cereal feeder who doesn’t even know that ‘R’ likes to hold his foot while eating.
No, this post is not asking for advice from its readers. Because I know there’s none which would help. It’s a phase and like all working mothers I will ride through this. I won’t leave my job, because well I don’t want to. You can read my views on that at Jobless Me.
Saturday and Sunday. Two blissful days. ‘R’ has been with ‘A’ and me all the time. I have cherished every moment with him. Almost selfishly keeping him to myself. Nipping off for showers and toilet breaks only when he naps. And she has gazed on from a safe distance, not daring to spoil the family moment. Laughing at his antics from the kitchen entrance.
It’s Sunday evening. ‘R’s bedtime. He’s been changed into his little PJ’s. He is examining his surroundings with that innocent curiosity that only childhood can produce. She lingers in the room once he’s changed.
“You go on and eat dinner. Tonight I will put him to sleep”, I say.
She hestitates. I am slightly impatient now. Wanting ‘R’ to myself. An insecure mother.
“Go on. Its ok .You have an early night.”
She kneels down beside the bed. A typical gesture of an Indonesian maid in the presence of her employer. She touches the baby’s tiny feet and says, “Let me look at him a while longer. I didn’t get to play with him the whole weekend. Usually it’s just the both of us.”
I look at her and I feel ridiculous. Almost ashamed of my jealousy. How can you be jealous of someone who loves your child? I should be relieved, not anxious.
‘R’ has rolled over onto his stomach now and he grins at her and me . The Mother and the Maid. The Life-giver and the Care-taker.
We laugh together at his grin. Two women united together by their love for a child.
Authors Note : Other mothers out there, have any of you encountered these emotions? If you have, do leave a comment 🙂
I have a Facebook fan page which is starting to show signs of dehydration in terms of fan count. So if any of my kind readers would do me the favour of going and liking my page, ‘ppreciate it a lot!
31 thoughts on “Mad about Ryan”
Chechi I soo love reading ur posts.. I can quite understand wat u r feeling I guess.. and words like its k.. I know is not gonna help.
Phewww..Anita. thanks god u didnt advice. Thats y i clearly mentioned that. heheheh..thanks for the compliments 🙂
aww… so sweet.. am afraid i wil b in the same situation some day…
ya ranjitha..I gues v all have to encounter it at some point 🙂
The recipe for motherhood is incomplete without a generous helping of guilt.
When I first read it, wrote a comment, but it sounded too sumg to me – which wasn’t the emotion I was going for. So all I can say is – This too shall pass!!!
AND loved ur explanation of A’s reaction – husbands know us so well. 🙂
hahahah.a smug comment from u! LOL….ya its one of those days . Dats all. Atleast something gud came out of it. One more post added to my sparse blog 😉
Guess I’ll be feeling all this soon.It’s sweet that the maid wanted to be with him.
Ys u wil b…but atleast v all have sumthing so wonderful 2 luk fwd to when v come back home 🙂
Thank your lucky stars that you have a maid who adores your baby. Have heard so many horror stories.
You narrate well, didn’t slack even for a moment.
Thanks for d comp Purba. Yes I am damn lucky I have her. Like I said it’s a first-time mom’s unreasonable jealousy 🙂
Its a very thought provoking subject u have here with ur unique touch of humor 🙂 I hear such incidents every day from the last 2 years from my mom n sis. The only diff is its not maid versus mother, its grandmom vs mom. And now there r 2 babies, not just one. phew!!! :))
really? n I thought it wud b diff if it was the grandparents. 2 babies n d porb persists? n I thought it was jus my first-time mom hormones acting up 😛
My wife would relate to your article very much 🙂 as she is a working mom of a 5 month baby now ….
Its comforting 2 know how many mothers out der face this 🙂
Hey there…..reading something on ur blog for the first time and I loved it!!! (I’ve read ur article on the experience of watching movies in Indian cinemas…n tht one was great as well) hmmm, quite frankly, I’ve become a fan Maria (fyi…I’mm ex-Choice as well, couple of batches ur junior) and besides I’m a wannabe writer as well…..Do u hav any tips for me??
wow…my junior and an NRI magazine reader and most importantly a wannabawriter like myself. M glad to meet u…
Tips?hahhha…now m flying abt 3 feet above d grd 😛
Well all I can say is keep writing. n keep reading. It wil take time n patience n soon ul get d hang of it 😉
Boring ol advice dat I read somewhere a while ago. But it works 🙂
I am not a mom. But I can relate to what you said. Especially because there is like a World Bank of Free Advice readily available all the time. Just hang in there. And feed the jealousy. It is key to such wonderful posts. You have a new follower. 😛
Feed the jealousy..LOL. Ah if it’s get me a distinguished blogger as my follower then why not? :O)
Well I am not even married yet and motherhood is quit far now but i feel whenever i will become a mom i will surly feel the same i guess…. nicely narrated the feeling of a working mom 🙂
thanks for visiting again Sweta 🙂 Yes all moms will go thru d same thing in varying degrees I guess 🙂
A Zeaolous mother that is what we are for the most of us cus we love our children to death…:) Love the write up Maria…!
To death…well put Sha! M so true!
Absolutely adorable post…so truthful, it touched my heart. So many of my friends have gone through this phase…
Thanks LP. This post got a lot of comments. And I can see why…because it was100% truth in itself. I think I need to get away from the armour of humour I hide behind most of the time and add more of a personal touch 🙂
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Loved this one. 🙂
@Priya: For a while there, you got me all flustered wondering who u were..hehehehe
@Nalini: I think you may a point there. We often do expect too much from our partners because our expectations are pre-formed
@Aishwarya: Thank you 🙂
@theReader: Was wondering why your comment was not up yet 😛
so true and yes very very real scenario:D
M guessing this is another mother talking 🙂
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