So I am starting off from where I left with Hearing the Untold – Part I. FYI readers, my Mom did behave almost identical to the way I predicted in Part I.
When I was younger, the sacred institution of marriage didn’t make much sense to me. I mean there was Daddy and there was Mummy. Their only role used to be parenting (in which they did a good job of course). As far I was concerned, they didn’t need time together. It seemed like the had it all figured out before we came into the picture. Daddy went to work and Mummy looked after us. Daddy tucked us in and Mummy cleared up after dinner. Daddy ironed our uniforms and Mummy packed the lunches.
As I grew older, I started seeing the invisible wheels of machinery which worked to make their marriage successful. Mummy did the initial rebukes and ‘nos’ and Daddy sealed the deal with an occasional roar of anger. Sometimes, Mummy played strict and Daddy played the rule-bender. Yin and Yang. Sugar and Spice. They played their roles to perfection. They communicated well. Sometimes not vocally, but just mentally through a language developed over the years. And I wondered whether I would ever develop such a language with my husband.
I joined the marriage band wagon in 2007. One of the first in my friend circle to do so. To a person whom I had met all in all about 3 hours. Yes the same duration as an average Hindi movie. It’s true that we had spoken on the phone for around 6 months. But that doesn’t really help when you think about the ‘forever after’ bit.
And now 3 years down the lane, we have been through our fair share of things. One shifting house. Two major vacations. Other small holidays. Millions of bills. Three burnt vessels. Two broken plates and many broken cups. Five pieces ‘accidentally’ coloured laundry. Drifting away from single friends. Finding of married friends. Two sets of in-laws. Again bills. One nine month pregnancy. And one adorable baby boy.
And if you were to ask me if I have discovered how to keep the marriage running smooth, I’d say “Smooth?Are you kidding.Didnt you read the previous paragraph??!!!”
But jokes apart, we both have developed our own little language these days. Sure there were hiccups in the initial days, but we got there. Gradually. So let me take you down the progression (or digression ,as some may call it) of our relationship over the years:
Who does the dishes?
2007 –Me: No, no. I finished them even before you came back from office.You sit down and rest.
2008 -Me: OK you do the dishes. I’ll clear the table and keep the leftovers in the fridge.
2009 -Me : Hello I am pregnant. I can’t even stand being near the sink with this nausea.
2010 -Me : Ok I do the dishes. You change the baby’s diaper.
The Untold Part : We are a team. We understand each other.
Do I look fat ? (The Million – Dollar Question)
2007 -Hubby: No, you are so pretty.I thought so the first time I saw you.
2008 -Hubby : Haha..Ofcourse you are!
2009 -Hubby : Come on, all pregnant women are a bit plump. You look cute.(affectionate pat on the bump).
2010 -Hubby : You know you are. But that’s ok. I don’t mind.
The Untold Part : I accept you through all your phases.Right from blushing bride up until scruffy mom.You are the same inside and that’s what matters.
Which movie to watch?
2007 – Hubby : Gulp! You want to watch ‘Music and Lyrics’? Who, Hugh Grant? Ya , well why not? It’s not a musical right?
2008 – Hubby: Oh! That movie? Watch it without me. Let me watch my wrestling or football (or something equally violent which involves burly men, lots of spirit and zero emotion)
2009 – Me: No horror, no gore. I cannot be watching such movies in this ‘delicate’ time. So I get to choose the movie. (Fluttering of eyelashes follow)
2010 – Are u kidding people? We have a baby.Whos got time for movies? 🙂
The Untold Part: We don’t need to like the same movies to stay in love.We just need each other.
Why are you crying?
Disclaimer: I don’t need any major reason to cry. ME = CRY BABY
2007 – Hubby: Hey why you crying? (Alarmed expression)
(Thinks to self “OMG, what is happening? I have never seen a girl cry before. What should I do? Is this normal for girls?”)
2008 – Hubby: Hmmm….now what happened? Oh please. Do you have a never-ending supply of tears stocked up?
2009 – Hubby: There there…all those hormones are just making you emotional.
2010 – Very few chances to cry. Baby keeps our minds and bodies busy enough.
The Untold Part : I might not have the perfect solution. But I will there to ask you whats wrong and lend you a shoulder to cry on.
We are officially not a pair of newly married honeymooners anymore. Then why does it still feel like just yesterday that we exchanged our vows for the first time ? Because we mean them more and more each day.
Author’s Note : I have a Facebook fan page which is starting to show signs of dehydration in terms of fan count. So if any of my kind readers would do me the favour of going and liking my page, ‘ppreciate it a lot!