This post is dedicated to my wonderful family, especially to my darling son Ryan. You make my salads crisper and my desserts sweeter. Happy Mother’s Day to myself!
Dictionary definition of salad – dish of raw leafy green vegetables, often tossed with pieces of other raw or cooked vegetables, fruit, cheese, or other ingredients and served with a dressing.
Family definition of salad – dish of <RAW> (Raw word spoken through an echoing loudspeaker..RAW, RAW, RAW) leafy green vegetables, <often>(you mean always right ?) tossed with pieces of <raw>(how much raw can my poor digestive system take?) or cooked vegetables, <fruit>(much better), <cheese>(ok now you are talking), or <other ingredients> (meat and hard-boiled eggs, right?)and served with a <dressing> (Yes please. Something thick and creamy. None of that olive oil and salt mixture..bah..that’s hardly enough gloss the lettuce alone)
Scene 1: Family and me seated at a restaurant. Everybody busy poring through the menu. Everybody skipping the first page with salads and appetizers. I linger, finger tracing the salad section.
Me: Umm…I’ll have the Caesar salad.
Pin drop silence. 3 pairs of eyes fall on me. Baby not counted. He’s more interested in clutching my finger and pushing it inside his tiny mouth.
Mum : That’s it?
Dad : There’s a salad section? Let me wear my glasses. Can’t read anything properly in this menu.(searching for glasses)
Hubby : Don’t worry. We’ll order one of those gigantic sundaes and split one later. You can have the wafer on top.(wink and grin)
Baby : (Trying to grab at menu and failing)
Scene 2: Food arrives.2 Burgers, 1 Steak, 1 Caesar salad and 3 sympathetic glances at me.
The glances are free with each order of salad.
I gulp and bravely attack my salad. First step, toss out that cute little parsley sprig.Does anybody ever eat that? Then the mixing and tossing. That’s tricky because “grilled succulent chicken strips on a bed of lettuce dribbled with herb vinaigrette” sounded lovely on the menu. But coating all that overdose of lettuce evenly with the dressing and making sure the precious (precious because they are rare to find like gold or diamonds) chicken strips don’t jump out of my plate is a huge task.
Mom : What is this? (prodding with the fork, going through each ingredient in my salad)
1. Cabbage – chuck aside
2. Lettuce – ignores
3. Cherry tomatoes – Ah! cute…but let me see..1..2..3..4 only.(shakes head sadly)
4. Celery – Who even granted this green stalk vegetable status!!??!?
5. Red and yellow peppers – Ok not bad
6. Egg and chicken strips – So little? Have this also…(cuts small pieces of her steak and tries to sprinkle them on my salad)
7. Cranberries and almond slivers – Oh nice(munch,munch)..mmm..nice.
8. Dressing – not even enough to dunk that measly celery stick in. (proceeds to open the ketchup bottle but I am faster)
Me : Please mum. Leave it. It’s fine.
Dad : (mumbling to Mum).Let her be. (whispering to me) You want to order something else?
Baby : Yawwwwnnn…why dont people pay attention to me once the food is here? (in baby language, of course)
Hubby : You sure its tasty?
Me : Yes , very crispy and fresh
Hubby : So are the french fries. Try it.
Mum : Yes, yes..put some on your salad.(grabs a handful of fries and tosses them on my salad)
Me : MOOOMMMMM!!! (the fries are slowly wilting in my soggy, once crisp salad)
Mum : What?(looks at me puzzled)
Me : (takes a deep breath and smiles) Nothing….Happy Mother’s Day!
Baby : (fast asleep)
Scene 3 : And as you can guess, I did give in and have that gigantic sundae after all 😀
Author’s Note: I have a Facebook fan page which is starting to show signs of dehydration in terms of fan count. So if any of my kind readers would do me the favour of going and liking my page, ‘ppreciate it a lot!